Our culinary outings the last few days aren't going to impress any of you foodies out there. On Friday we took the Jackal to Chuck E. Cheese's.Chuck E. Cheese's has been our go-to idle threat since Santa came and went. So finally, after granting and denying the reward and privilege of a trip to Chuck E. Cheese for everything from peeing on the potty to 'make that noise stop!' we got on Google maps to plan our route out to the 'burbs.
If you ever went to Showbiz Pizza or Chuck E. Cheese's as a kid, you'll be happy to know that not a fucking thing has changed. I'm pretty sure even the carpet is original, complete with about 20 years of kid urine. The arcade games are still there, as are the animatropic characters. I'm still a horrible skee ball player and an even worse video game player. The Chuck E character still looks like a rat and scares me. And I still want to drop-kick the fat kid running around with his miles and miles of prize tickets.
And the whole "prize ticket" concept still turns a generation of kids into greedy little bastards with no sense of value. By my calculations, we spent about $20 on a cup full of tokens and ended up with 50 or so prize tickets. When the Jackal cashed in his tickets for the requisite trinkets he came back with a sheet of Chuck E. Cheese stickers and a Tootsie roll. A fucking Tootsie roll! I don't even want to think about how many tickets some loser kid is going to trade in for a dusty old Beanie baby that will sit in the back window of his parent's Corolla.
As for the grub at Chuck E. Cheese - I should have heeded my intuition and steered clear of the $6.99 all-you-can-eat salad bar. Come to think of it, is there ever a gastronomic delight to be had near an all-you-can-eat offer?!? Probably not. So I think this experience has given me another item to add to my "Eating/Drinking Rule of Thumb" list:
3. If a place says it's all you can eat, don't.
2. If a restaurant "has the best bread", the actual food probably sucks. (Seriously, how many times have you heard, 'Oh my god, I love Olive Garden, they have the best bread sticks.'?)
1. If, according to the label, a wine "goes well with food," it's probably not the best drink.
So anyone out there have any to add to the list? (Thanks for #1, E.)
3 comments:
There are only 2 all-you-can-eat deals that are worth eating:
1) The 1 day a year when Sushi Taro has an all-you-can-eat sushi (limit 1 toro piece per time through te line), usually during the cherry blossom festival.
2) The ceasar salad bar at Sir Walter Raleigh's in Greenbelt, MD. Seriously.
Sushi Taro sounds like a very good exception to the rule.
I've eaten at a place in Atlanta called Stevie B's (I think that's the name. I know they're a chain but they haven't made it into my regular neck of the woods.) Anyway, it was a lot like your experience minus the age of the premises and the cartoon rat. For an all-you-can-eat the food wasn't bad but there was an emphasis on kid-friendly combinations, as in only a kid would eat some of their dessert pizzas.
And on an analogous tangent to your question, is there any cartoon rodent that doesn't want wreak havoc on your wallet?
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