Bail me out

As the Democrats and Republicans fight over this massive billion dollar bail-out deal that will hopefully save the American and global economy from completely collapsing, I'm really starting to get a bit worried. What if I or the reluctant grownup should lose one -- or both! -- of our jobs?!

Like any late and guilty converter, I'm starting to pay more attention to the financial picture. I've put all our financial information into mint.com (it's online, it's free and it's so much cooler than Quicken) and have started examining our family’s budget a bit more closely.

Exercises like this are always way too revealing. Kind of like the time I decided to keep a food diary. Two generous glasses of red wine, schmears of creamy Brie cheese, several slices of French bread and a handful of olives. Eighteen thousand calories. And that was just the first course. Needless to say, I'm one of those people who prefers to play dumb when it comes to the number of calories that I am consuming. And, as reality avoidance would have it, the same also goes for the number of dollars that I'm typically spending.

So here's the harsh reality: our family budget has been set up to accommodate the appetite of a new 90210 starlet when in fact we have John Goodman raiding our refrigerator.

What I've budgeted for:

• Childcare - Nanny, 40 hours
• Transportation - Subway/bus
• Clothing - A few sensible items from the Gap, Old Navy a few times each year
• Groceries - For healthy, non-processed, home-cooked meals
• Recreation - Netflix
  

What I actually spend:

• Childcare - Nanny, 45 hours, competitive DC rates, extra $ so she won’t leave us, several hours each week of time-and-a-half overtime due to client emergencies at work
  
• Transportation - Car payment, exorbitant gas prices, downtown parking garage fees, speeding tickets (as I rush home to avoid paying nanny overtime)
  
• Clothing - Designer clothing to better “complement” those curves, several pairs of $40 Spanx control top/butt/thighs/tummy undergarments (because I haven't had time to work out and haven’t lost the baby weight)
  
• Groceries - Groceries (many of which typically rot in the refrigerator), Chinese delivery that has our credit card on file, Dominos.com, cases of wine, bottles of single malt
• Recreation - Bar tabs, food/wine tabs, babysitters, pharmaceuticals (and resulting therapist bills)

It's in the Jeans

It's time to fess up. I've gotten so spoiled lately.

I remember when I was 8 we had no money to buy clothes. My 4 sisters and 2 brothers eagerly looked forward to that day when another family at church would give us hand-me-downs in big brown paper shopping bags. We'd take the bags home in our beat-up Volkswagon van and wonder what it would be like to have new, store-bought clothes and be one of those kids who's "in style" and gets to go back-to-school shopping.

At some point in high school -- when I got a job at Footlocker at the local mall -- I was able to squirrel away enough cash to pay for gas AND blow $40 bucks at Wet Seal on brown denim Bongo jeans. (I was supposed to be saving the money for college. Don't think my parents didn't chastise me for making such a "foolish purchase.")

Throughout high school and college, it was much more normal for me to make any clothing purchases at a thrift store or Goodwill or Salvation Army. Even shopping sprees were focused on the clearance sale racks at the very back of the store.

At some point after college and a few years into receiving a regular paycheck, I started feeling comfortable shopping at the Gap. Mainly at the sale rack, but sometimes venturing to try on something in the front of the store that was full-priced. If full-priced Gap jeans were my gateway drug, designer denim became my habit. Six years ago it was a $100 pair of Lucky Brand Jeans. Now it's a new pair of $200 Citizens of Humanity or 7 for All Mankind or Chip & Peppers or whatever else makes my ass look good just about every season.

And so as hubby and I pore through our bills and finances and ask ourselves the following questions -- Why haven't we saved for the boys college? Why are we still living paycheck to paycheck? Don't we make good money? Where does all our money go? -- I have to admit that it's probably all gone to "foolish purchases".

Maybe mom was right all along. But goddamn, who wants to wear hand-me-downs, or even worse, mom jeans?